The Spirit Carries On

A good friend of mine introduced me to Dream Theater, this song particularly. I remember that time, I was struggling with my faith. I was so much in pain, thinking what's right and what's wrong, and why do I feel so much sorrow by my own thinking of what should be in life.

Even as I am writing this one, I'm coming back to that time, when I felt my chest heavy with emotions. I think I remember when I first doubted my faith. It was in 1998 when I was browsing for books at a book store and find a book titled "Conversations with God for Teens" by Neale Donald Walsch. I was curious about the content of the book and when I found out Alanis Morissette wrote the foreword, I decided to buy it. Back then, I was 13 years old. I think that was the beginning of my life philosophy rollercoaster.

Back to the song, my dear friend gave me the song and it hit me right in the heart every time I listened to it. If you never listen to the song, do yourself a favour and youtube it. For now, I provide you the lyrics:

===

Nicholas:

Where did we come from?

Why are we here?

Where do we go when we die?

What lies beyond

And what lay before?

Is anything certain in life?

They say, "Life is too short,"

"The here and the now"

And "You're only given one shot"

But could there be more,

Have I lived before,

Or could this be all that we've got?

If I die tomorrow

I'd be allright

Because I believe

That after we're gone

The spirit carries on

I used to be frightened of dying

I used to think death was the end

But that was before

I'm not scared anymore

I know that my soul will transcend

I may never find all the answers

I may never understand why

I may never prove

What I know to be true

But I know that I still have to try

If I die tomorrow

I'd be allright

Because I believe

That after we're gone

The spirit carries on

Victoria:

"Move on, be brave

Don't weep at my grave

Because I am no longer here

But please never let

Your memory of me disappear"

Nicholas:

Safe in the light that surrounds me

Free of the fear and the pain

My questioning mind

Has helped me to find

The meaning in my life again

Victoria's real

I finally feel

At peace with the girl in my dreams

And now that I'm here

It's perfectly clear

I found out what all of this means

If I die tomorrow

I'd be allright

Because I believe

That after we're gone

The spirit carries on

Hypnotherapist:

"you are once again surrounded by a brilliant white light. allow the light to lead you away from your past and into this lifetime. as the light dissipates you will slowly fade back into con

Sness remembering all you have learned. when I tell you to open your eyes you will return to the present, feeling peaceful and refreshed. open your eyes, Nicholas."

===

... my current life philosophy is largely based on hard science. I do not believe that human beings have a special capability of going over to the afterlife. I believe that human beings are the same with other animals in terms of death. That we stop living one day and there will be no heaven or hell for us. Even though there is no such thing as black or white (like heaven or hell), death is definite. And death still has shades of grey, it's neither completely good or bad. The notion of when we die, we stop living comes from my own thoughts, "what makes us so special that we have our own place after death?" We, Homo sapiens, of all the beings in the universe. Please do not give me all the religious explanations, they do not make sense to me.

Nevertheless, I want to thank my dear friend David for showing me another way to understand life. I know my philosophy will not fit many people's beliefs (certainly not people from my culture) but for some people, afterlife promise is sufficient for them to guide them in life. And thank you D for helping me reveal my different side to myself, the song is written beautifully and it still brings tears to my eyes, symbolising what I experienced back then. Thank you.

God the Almighty

I just received a text from my mother, reminding me that today is Palm Sunday. Also reminding me to keep praying to god so that he(she/it) will always keep me save and forgive me. And some other things. I don't intend to memorise the content of the text.

Don't get me wrong, I love my mother dearly. It's just we have different philosophy of life, regarding religions and god. And she doesn't really know what I truly believe.

I respect my mother, because she is my mother. It doesn't matter that what she believes bothers me. Oh well, many religious beliefs bother me anyway. But I am just so curious with religious people who can claim that god is so loving and forgiving, but you have to pray to him(her/it) first. Will he then get angry if I don't pray to him(her/it)? If it is so, then god sounds like a child showing a tantrum like behaviour.

If we are created with god's likeness, then I believe god is much superior than we are. I don't believe god will be upset just because one of his(her/its) children doesn't pray anymore to him(her/it). Oh anyway, it's the Christian god, so maybe it's a him.

Look, I have my own view about life. People do not need religions to make them do good deeds. People do not need religions to learn about morals. Well, I believe religions do help people to do good deeds though, I am not going to bash religions just for the sake of it. I just think that religious people have to learn that there are other people who are not religious and choose to not believe in god(s). And respect is to be earned. You don't force people to respect you. Receive when you give.

Also, I'm not telling that all agnostics or atheists are all right. I know some of agnostics and atheists who would bash religions and/or god just because they think they are smarter (for not believing an imaginary creator). I would categorise these so-called smarter people into the same group as religious extrimists. I don't think it's a good way to show that you don't need religions or god to show that you are smarter and you have a good moral (which you probably don't if you like to bully).

I just hope one day I could freely declare what I believe without having to fear the social consequences of being an agnostic/atheist. I fear of my safety in my own country if I openly tell people about my belief. They would curse me to go to their literal hell. And ultimately, I hope I can openly tell my parents about what I believe, and it is not what they believe, or what most people in my country believe. This is very true in my heart, and I know what I believe in is as strong as what other religious people believe in.

I don't exclude the possibility of god's existence. But for now, I believe we are as human beings should stop being too proud as god's creation and fight each other to defend their god(s). If you believe in god, and that god is almighty, then you should understand that god is not as childish as you think. He(she/it) doesn't need your recognition or your defending him. If you believe that god is that superior, he(she/it) doesn't need followers because he(she/it) is omnipotent.

Being a skeptic

"Whether we say that we are ‘identified with ego’ or ‘attached’ or ‘believe in the illusion’ matters not…what matters is that we are holding on to something (some state of being, some person, place, thing) that by It’s very nature is meant to be temporary, ephemeral, and ultimately, fleeting."

When I read that Alanis Morissette's quote, I find myself share the same belief, or opinion, or thought. Even though I don't consider myself as a believer, religion-wise, I have had that piece of mind for quite some time. Contrary to what I am holding to, which is almost none, religious people might be more content and happy than I am. As much as I want to believe in an almighty being or in a system of believing an almighty being , my mind and heart would not agree.

When I think of it, I am not opposed to the idea that there may be a superior entity that makes it all possible. That makes the universe possible. Science has been working on to find out the real beginning of the universe and I am looking forward to read/watch/listen to the answer. And if science finally finds out that the superior entity/the almighty being/god really did create the universe, I'll accept it.

So that's it. There is always a probability of the existence of god. Religions seem to be 100% sure of the existence of god. Why? I remember reading A Pale Blue Dot by Carl Sagan. I remember lines that I perceived that humans seem to think very highly of themselves. That they are created by god. Why us? Why Homo sapiens? The universe is so vast but why are we the lucky one? I can't seem to understand that despite how insignificant human beings are among this wide universe, we have such big ego that we have that privilege to be blessed by god. Yet, some religious people fight against each other, defending their faith as the true one. If they do believe in god, is that what god wants? Fighting each other?

I know I'm not religious, and I do not want to sound that I am proud that I don't have that big of ego that I AM that important. But that is how I feel. I don't think that human beings are the most important species in the universe. So, I don't think it is necessary to fight each other defending their own beliefs. Because in the end, our species will evolve into another advanced species, which I hope not an egocentric and aggressive species. I really don't hope so.

Source: http://www.alanis.com/2012/02/15/quote-from-alanis/